Gear manufacturers have realised that lots of women like the outdoors and they're different shapes from men. Here's what's out there, and where you can buy it.
Slim Jim the Surfski
Allow me to introduce my new mate - Slim Jim.Everyone, this is Slim Jim.
Slim Jim, this is everyone.
Slim Jim and I have been mates for a couple of weeks now and we’ve been pretty much going exclusive for the whole Christmas/New Year period.
Slim Jim and I spend several mornings a week together, early on before the wind kicks up but not too early because it is, after all, the holiday period. Sometimes it’s just us and sometimes other people come along, although even when they do Slim Jim and I are joined at the hip.
I used to spend time with my other mates, but now they lounge around (moping, I imagine, while they gather dust) because Slim Jim and I have a special bond at the moment. Yes, that’s right - the bond of the “new toy”.
I have a pretty embarrassing habit of naming my toys, although I don’t usually tell people about it because I think it’s pretty lame to name your possessions and talk about them like they’re people. Nevertheless, now that I’ve admitted to it and now that it’s public (even though I suspect no one reads these articles and that my web guy just set up a fake stats page to make me feel good about myself), I may as well keep on sharing.
Bella is my sea kayak, because it’s beautiful and whenever I saw it on the car I’d think, “wow, that’s a beautiful kayak” (because it is a beautiful kayak). Lil is my white water kayak, short for Li’l’ Fella, because it’s so short and stocky (my boyfriend’s sister calls it a clog). My road bike is called Larry, short for Larry the Leper, because when I first got it various bits kept on falling off at very unfortunate times, like in the middle of a big race when the rear derailleur fell off, for which I’ve never forgiven the bike shop. The mountain bike doesn’t really have a name but I do still talk to it (mainly things like “come on, come on, don’t be such a f*&^ing wuss you big girl” because I’m a pathetic mountain biker). Luckily climbing gear doesn’t lend itself to being named or we might be here all day.Slim Jim was named on one of our first outings and is called that because, well, he’s slim and that rhymes with the name Jim. Unfortunately it stuck in my head and won’t go away - not unfortunate because of the name (which I quite like), but because we have a skinny friend called Jim. However, now it’s stuck there’ll be no getting rid of it.
Anyway, while Bella and Lil are lounging around in the garage, I’ve been out gallivanting with Slim Jim several mornings a week. In fact, one week I went out so many days that my arms felt like lead weights and I decided that it was probably time for a rest day because I could no longer lift my arms above shoulder level. My calf muscles are slowly atrophying and I’ll probably start bursting the seams on my t-shirts soon.
Slim Jim is incredibly popular at the moment because he’s a new toy and I’ve got new toy syndrome. And for good reason! I’ve wanted a fast racing kayak and a “new sport” for ages and Slim Jim is truly spectacular - fast, streamlined, classy looking and very, very sexy. My feet have been liberated from the confines of a kayak and I spend my morning paddles watching my toes go all wrinkly, which is a very novel experience for a kayaker.
All in all, new toy lust moved to new toy love very quickly, and I’ve bonded successfully with Slim Jim in the calm morning conditions on the mighty Derwent. However, I can’t help feeling bad about leaving Bella and Lil and Larry lounging in the garage, collecting spiders and ant poo (Larry even has a flat tyre I haven’t got around to fixing), remembering bitterly the time when they were the favourite toy. And there’s Slim Jim, hung up away from the dust and spiders (because crossways is the only way he fits in the garage), tenderly washed after every paddle and with every new scratch tutted over, lording it over the old toys like Lord Muck.Don’t worry Bella, Lil and Larry! Slim Jim is not much use for a leisurely afternoon or overnight paddle (much too difficult to keep upright) and Bella, we can sit together for hours and you can carry a huge range of camping equipment, including bottles of wine). Lil, you can carve it up in the surf and spin on a river wave like no other. And Larry, if I want to go for a spin up the mountain then Slim Jim is hardly going to help with that, is he? I promise I’ll fix that tyre soon.
I haven’t replaced the old toys, I’ve just expanded my repertoire of activities. It’s simply the first flush of new toy love that means all I do these days is paddle Slim Jim. Don’t worry Bella, Lil and Larry - your day will no doubt come again.